I once allowed myself to be placed upon a pedestal,
But it did me no good.
I am aware that I am wonderful in many ways,
But I am more real than I dare to say.
I have the potential to be difficult and some days I am belligerent at best,
And I ask too many questions.
I need too often and I want very much but still,
I am not so awful
Not so awful as you have had to paint me to get us to this point.
Once you were teased with the prefix “mywife” and I did say
At the time that the pedestal you placed me on
Was too much
Was too high and looking down from up there I could see in sharp
Focus the normality in which I revelled.
And I wanted to get down. I did warn you this perfection that you raised
In your mind with so much praise and lofty words of admiration
Was an impossible task for a mere human such as myself to fulfil.
A perfect wife
A perfect mother
A perfect woman
But my brilliance lies also in my many imperfections
And when I kicked back a little it did prove too much
When I exposed my vulnerability and a small temper in hard times
It left us both raw
And you walked back into our home-to-be
After time away swimming in alternative options
And the reality was too much
You had placed your family on a pedestal so high I was terrified hanging
From the edge without a parachute
You had placed us so high we were
Out of mind
And there you were in the far distance
A diminished man
As small as an ant
But unlike an ant you had not the strength of character required
To scale such heights and you left us there
In the cold wind stranded
As our pedestal crumbled beneath our feet while your gaze roved elsewhere
We tumbled down from that great height and into the dirt
Grazed and broken more than a little
I held our girl close to me and whispered in her ear words
Of love and promises that I at least will keep
And watched as she began to follow the trail
Of mouldering breadcrumbs you left in your wake
Though I fear before long the carrion crows will have claimed them
And into the woods I will wander
To save our lost girl
The love child that was and the woman to be
If you insist
And this worshipful behaviour persists
Where you distance yourself intentionally with this lifting on high of those
That you really should keep close
Then I hope that you place her now on a small enough pedestal to reach
Or at least keep a place for her in that glass heart
Cold and fragile and polished clean
For I am sure that if a future lover deals her the same hand
As you have dealt her mother
All hell should break loose
And really I see now that all pedestals should fall
And these women who are more real than I can dare to say
Will step down into the world
And move with substance and with honesty through all the coming days.
We can lift each other up with no need
Of a platform on which we are only set for display
But never really
Seen
I once allowed myself to be placed upon a pedestal
And it did me no good
And when I kicked back a little
It floored me and it took out my knees and it threw all the breath from me
But not
I am thankful
All the fight.