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First Blood


This text is something I've been working on for a while. Back in February I sat bolt upright in bed with an overwhelming urge to revisit the Essex Witches, it was as if they were whispering in my ear only moments before I awoke. Ultimately this chunk of text is something that will be part of a larger work but for now I am happy with this bit. Let me know what you think!

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window again.

She started one night in late February.

She is whispering at my window.

Dark tidings.

Dark, dark tidings.

As the tide rises.

As the tide ebbs.

I see her breath upon the glass.

Chasing along the salt from the marshes.

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window.

Standing in the shadows,

In the corners of my consciousness.

The corners of her mouth move this way and that.

Is she smiling?

Or cursing quietly under her breath?

Would she kiss her mother with that mouth.

Would she kiss a lover with that mouth.

Is it seduction or damnation?

Comfort or a quickening of disquiet?

She stands there like a stain,

In the periphery of my vision.

Persistent.

Perhaps a conjuration of my imagination.

Perhaps.

From somewhere very far off a sound is carried along the wind

The scrape and creaking of dry branches in the forest.

The scratch of the rope and the creaking of the gibbet,

Hungry for the oil of use.

It waits patiently in the late winter evening.

Sybillant sounds wash along the coastline

And up the creeks of the estuary

Though the imperceptible cracks in the windows

Where the pane meets the frame.

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window

And her whispers wend their way in

Casting a web around the back of my mind

Catching the light in my dark room

Tiny fibres that I have to squint my attention in an effort to see.

She flickers in and out like a flame

Like cheap tallow spitting sparks into the night.

It is unclear in the dim and the dancing

In the waning of the light

If there is malice in these low

Illegible but uncompromising

Words,

Words & words

Spilling forth into the night

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window again

And this time

She refuses to be quiet.

What kind of a woman was she. Really.

This one who seeks to be heard.

What kind of women were they all.

Have women really changed that much in all of time

Or is it just the rules that keep shifting

Treacherous sandbanks of expectation

That can sit in the same place for decades

Reappear or disappear in a day.

They can sink you,

Hide you there under the deep water,

Never to be seen or heard.

If you are not in league with the devil.

And if you don’t drown

Or swallow down all that water

But conform to the logic of your own body

They will take it up and condemn you and it for being.

For being just as you are.

Just for being.

A million ways to break you

To systematically destroy every fibre

For daring to belong to another.

To Satan

To the earth or the moon

To the old gods, the goddess

To your self.

Scatter your atoms into the sky as thick fatty smoke and ashes,

Enriching the earth before your time and in constituent parts

A scream of terror and then of pain before a void of quiet.

Juices of your well-cooked flesh soaking the earth a while,

After the fizzing of your urine as it pours forth and transforms into acrid steam.

Separating the solids from the liquids.

Sticky marks in the black soil.

Or if there is some mercy

Then some last words

Of defiance

Or forced and fearful repentance

Might just break forth from your gullet before it stretches and snaps under the weight of that body once weightless in the village pond.

Then no wonder she whispers

If her words had been clipped so short.

Now they mumble quietly as the breeze shifts my curtain,

Filtering in and out.

From outside, up in the roof,

Do they seep down from the rafters where I know there are no witch bottles set,

To trap them before I can half hear them.

Perhaps she is angry as we repeat the same mistakes,

Allowing ourselves to be bent and cowed by the same dangerous rhetorics

The illusion of control reserved for some few

At the expense of many who are not naïve enough to expect any semblance of Influence over the forces that shape their fate,

Aware that an instant is all it takes

For all of this to cease.

Perhaps she is only speaking words to herself,

Listing the things she thinks she needs so as not to forget,

Or to be forgotten.

Listing the things that she should have taken and the times she should have left.

Asking to be left well alone.

But I’m not convinced.

I think that she won’t mind too much if I poke and I pry.

I am not Him with the sneaky needle,

That tiny malicious point.

Tracing lies all over the skin.

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window

And has been for quite some time.

She must have something important to say.

And straining in that effort to listen my mouth moves on its own,

The one I’d kiss my mother with,

The one I’d kiss a lover with,

And it attempts to make those shapes that she is asking.

Not to ape or to appropriate

But as a puppet to her story the muscles bend.

And admittedly I speak in a half understanding

The years and the years and the layers of soil between us.

My modern lips only able to work within their own muscle memory

Confined by the context in which they are grown.

But I cannot be shamed by this.

It speaks of the brave and powerful ones who came before me,

That I can utter her name without fear of rebuke.

And each time I do she lives a little more.

Albeit in a modern skin.

Where a mole is just a mole

And the only malignancy it might hold is the over production of cells,

And if you catch it early that kind of cancer can be cut away.

Buy you some more of your time,

No deal with the devil required.

And the only familiars are our mobile phones

Which cast a far more powerful spell than any demon

Or human being might.

The marks of these technological succubi are yet to be seen

Perhaps nestled deep inside.

Their magic so persuasive that

We happily ignore any desire to seek

The damage they may send our bodies

While we use them to hook up to a world of people sat individually, Communicating all over the globe.

But increasingly only to like-minds that reinforce their own perceptions

Rather than growing them rich and vibrant through challenge.

Ursula Kemp is muttering muttering,

Slightly louder through the Essex night,

Before She fades in the light of the same sun.

That centuries back would have baked her dangling corpse,

Fluid settling in in her fingers like swollen samphire.

Or dried out the flesh of her head as it perched in plain view.

Set there as a warning

Ignored by the carrion birds picking at her brain.

But perhaps if I tilt my head I can see her

Begin to move back through the daylight too.

She seeks me because of my curiosity

Follows in the hope that she might find

Some chink through which to take possession

The porosity of a mind given to enquire and seek stories

For understanding how best to move through the process of this life.

Ursula Kemp is whispering at my window again,

And some day soon

She will roar.

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